People get old and people die. It's life and it sucks, but it happens. However, my grandmother's death took far too long and a woman who provided so much love should never have had to suffer the way she did. We all expected her death and it was welcomed with a sense of relief. Her suffering was over and we would thus be able to begin the healing process. I called my boss, Dean, that morning to inform him that I would not be coming into work that particular Wednesday. Business needed to be taken care of and family comes first. I told Dean that I would be in Thursday and would have to take off that Friday due to the funeral. I wanted to work that Thursday in order to keep my mind off things and also to give my co-workers the chance to not have to cover for me for three straight days.
Upon arriving to work, I was greeted by a disciple of Dean, Molly, who quickly sent her condolences. A steady flow of co-workers followed and I was truly touched. Dean acted as though nothing had happened. I didn't arrive to work expecting or even wanting sympathy. Everyone loses their grandparents but it's customary to express sympathy towards someone who may have just lost a loved one. He provided none of that. You see, this is because Dean has no soul. He lacks typical human emotions that most of us have. When something goes missing, an accusatory tone will eminate from his pie-hole and he will assume the worst until he realizes the missing object was with someone else or simply in one of his fat folds. He will not apologize for his actions because he is not wrong. He made what he deemed was an educated guess and thus, if the answer is incorrect, he will not assume responsibility for it. Perhaps this is the reason why he never finished college. Or succeeded in life. At 47, he is alone in this world with little family and friends. In fact, if it were not for work, I believe he'd have nothing to live for. Perhaps this is the reason why he is so dedicated to a job that he takes far too seriously.
In reality, he works very hard, consistently going above the call of duty to provide clients with services and run an office efficiently. Too bad those clients could give a shit about him or his thoughtfulness to provide fresh dates on a snack platter and he treats his underlings like shit!
Why do I speak this way about him? Why do I feel it's necessary to publicly announce my disdain for this man? The reason is simple: 1) It's cathartic for me. 2) It's amusing to think how such a pathetic man could take such thankless job and treat it as though he is a social worker.
When someone thinks that they're making a difference by getting someone a glass of Pinot Grigio over Chardonay, they have truly lost sight of what is important in this world. Of course it's important to take pride in your job. But, fuck, this isn't brain surgery. You're not making your mark in this lifetime and once your dead, no one's going to give a shit about how good your lattes were.
So, as I was saying, after I arrived to work, Dean pulled me aside into a private room to talk to me about something. I will re-create the conversation as best I can below. This is all true:
Me: What's up
Dean: I need to tell you, you're on one month's probation.
Me: What? Why?
Dean: According to Graham*, your session didn't go very well on Monday.
*Now, let me quickly pause to explain. Graham is a producer and he had a late night session that I was informed about 30 minutes prior to my scheduled shift ending. It was my responsibility to take care of the client's and producer's demands, etc.
Me: How so?
Dean: Well first off, you acted like you were annoyed to have to stay late.
Me: It's just as I'm preparing to leave, being told I need to stay another three hours...it's not something I was expecting.
Dean: Well that's not the point! You're job is to stay until the session's over.
Me: Ok--
Dean: And then apparently when the clients asked for Jamba Juice, you told them it wasn't possible.
Me: Dean, the ingredients they were asking for weren't available at Jamba Juice so I had to improvise.
Dean: So you went to Smiler's?!? That alone is a fireable offense!*
*Okay, first, Smiler's is a deli up the street from the office that makes juices. Second, this shit ACTUALLY was said to me.
Me: (Speechless)
Dean: Why would you ever go there? You should have just gone over to Jamba Juice and seen if they could make it.
Me: But they didn't have--
Dean: No excuses! And then, you didn't seem to know the protocol for getting the client's a car. You handed them the wrong slip!*
*For all clients who want a car to drive them home via our car service, they are required to keep a slip. There are three colors, pink, white and yellow. I didn't know if it was the yellow or pink slip that they were supposed to receive. This is because I was never taught and this is actually a job meant for the receptionist. Whatever.
Me: I apologize for that, I didn't know. Won't happen again.
The rest of this is kinda of hazy so I don't want to continue saying anything if it's not accurate. Basically, Dean continued to berate me. My emotions ran from fury to laughter to depressed. How the fuck could I let myself be spoken to like this. If I was 19, maybe I'd take a swing or, at the very least, have a very public shouting match. But no, I needed a job and bit the pill rather than bit his tongue.
This is merely an example of the bullshit I put up with while working at my office. Don't get me wrong, the very wide majority of people there are awesome. I would even regard some as friends who I plan to see in the near future. But there will always be shitty people you work with that will make your life less than ideal. And you know what the saying is: "Where there are shitty people at work, there are classic stories to be told."
Fuck you, Dean. Seriously, fuck you.
